Enneagram type 6 and 9 relationship myths

Relationship Type 6 with Type 9 — The Enneagram Institute

According to the enneagram, each of the 9 types has a core struggle: realized I' d been buying into one of the common myths about my type. Enneagram Type Six (the Loyalist) with. Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker ) This is one of the most stable and most common relationships. Although. Citizens Access BrandVoice: Money Myths: Debunked · Forbes · Forbes Editors' Picks The Enneagram is a system of nine personality types, showing the interactions among each type. in their fields, yet frequently at the expense of their personal relationships and emotions. Type 6: The Loyalist.

Both bolster the other's confidence through their solidarity with each other.

enneagram type 6 and 9 relationship myths

They are generous with each other and do not crowd the other or make special demands. When they find a relationship such as this, it usually feels like they have found what their heart has been seeking and their dream has come true. Potential Trouble Spots or Issues Since Sixes and Nines find it very difficult to say what is actually on their minds and what they really want for themselvesthere is a great tendency in this relationship to clam up, to be silently stubborn and defensive, and to make the other person guess what is going on.

If there is little motive to do so, the two parties will fall into a stalemate that keeps the other at arm's distance, yet close enough so that the other will not drift away. They may also begin to have health problems or other nonspecific complaints about themselves that seeks to bind the couple in cords of concern and guilt. Psychological or physical problems help to ensure that the other person will continue to be there.

Moreover, while these two types fulfill social roles very well, they both tend to disappear in their roles too completely for their own good.

Sixes are frequently burdened by guilt feelings and doggedly do whatever they think they must do to keep their job or their security in place.

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They try to make sure that they have covered the bases so that no one will be angry at them for failing in their responsibility. Nines also fulfill roles, but these usually have to do with mediating between people to keep them together in some way. They accommodate themselves and go along with what others need even as their own stress grows. Another potential problem is that both types love the familiar and dislike change. The feeling is that familiarity equals security, which is reinforced by the conviction that they must not rock the boat.

Both types will tend to put off confrontations until they are pushed to the limit, although Sixes have a shorter fuse concerning their anger. Nines accommodate to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, this behaviour makes Nines easy targets to be taken advantage of by others.

This connection makes them feel part of a greater whole. Nines have lost their sense of self by erasing their own assertion, but they try to reclaim it through their idealized union with their partner. Average Nines suppress their wants and minimize their needs. They tune out and disengage from the world.

They lose themselves in comforting routines television, gardening, hobbies. They focus on the feeling of unity with the world or with others. Their attention to the real world becomes unfocussed and vague. They have a hard time dealing with change and try to ignore pressure to do so. They ignore, avoid, and sweep problems under the rug. Nines try to make a deal with Life: Nines can't understand why others would want them to change.

Average Nines accommodate too much to others and no longer develop themselves as individuals. They are neither introspective, or self-questioning.

enneagram type 6 and 9 relationship myths

They lack self-awareness and initiative. They are indifferent and feel no sense of urgency. They procrastinate, seeing no reason to be pushed out of their complacency.

Despite their pleasant behaviour, they are stubborn and extremely resistant to change. They must maintain their peaceful world at any price even if it is only an illusion.

Their wishful thinking helps to minimize the importance of problems. They look for solutions that require minimal or no effort. They believe they can get through their problems by tuning them out. Everything will be fine tomorrow. A favourite saying of average Nines is "Let's just get this problem behind us. Their apathy and indifference to the needs of others may actually cause conflict and may upset others. Average Nines are usually unaware that all of the pressure to change has been denied and bottled up deep in their psyches.

What self-care looks like for me right now

Sometimes, Nines are unable to keep the anger hidden from others as well as from themselves and it comes out in a surprising outburst. Some Nines who can't handle the pressure and anger may have episodes of breaking with reality. At their Worst Nines become unhealthy when they repress and deny all problems. They completely dissociate from reality, neglecting their needs and responsibilities.

What self-care looks like for me right now – Modern Mrs. Darcy

What leads Nines down the wrong path is when they seek peace by disengaging from their passions and instinct. Nines falsely believe that asserting themselves will cause conflict and disturb the harmony of their world. At their Best Healthy Nines let go of a forced peace. They are patient, humble, honest, optimistic, and uncomplicated.

Their quiet strength is reassuring to others.

Enneagram Type 6, by Russ Hudson

They can easily see and relate to other points of view because they are not attached to any one of them.