I Discovered My Wife Was Not a Virgin | About Islam
not all muslim men are virgins dear. Whether thats from pre-marital relationships, or a divorce. Also, I dont think the issue of virginity should be. Brother is hesitant whether he should marry his girlfriend who had a previous relationship with a guy and thus is a non-virgin. The emphasis on preserving one's virginity before marriage is only really applicable to girls, in my culture at least, and not technically Islam.
Sometimes in rebellion and sometimes in love. We came into womanhood under the cloak of invisibility, bourgeoning with a new awareness and a sense of self that was kept tightly under wraps. We discovered our sexuality behind locked doors and Googled porn sites. We came to understand the geographies of our bodies using candlesticks, toothbrush handles and frozen hot dogs. Beneath bedtime covers and silent shame we felt and touched and prodded and poked, desperately looking for the button that would flick the switch and ease the ache deep in our bellies.
Even when we gave up our chastity belts for the boys we loved, it was done quietly. I came home from a two week break with my secret boyfriend, blooming into womanhood while trying to hide the new awareness of my body. I wish I had been able to talk to my mother about it.
The virginity paradox I face as a British Muslim
I wish I could have told her that it was one of the most beautiful nights of my life. That we waited a year just to be sure.
That my heart burst with a new love and how love tasted different after that. By no means should you use her past as an excuse for getting away with the relationship.
Give it some time. With your love and trust, I am sure you can continue with this relationship. Ending it is not the solution. Maybe, it is your treatment upon knowing that she is not a virgin that makes her look for other relations. It is important that she remains loyal to you now. Make her sit and talk over it in a good manner.
- The Virginity Games Muslim Women Play
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Say that you are trying your best to forgive her and forget her past, but if she wants to have a healthy relationship and a consequent good future, she must stop her infidelity.
Maybe you can take her on a vacation and spend some time knowing each other. Concentrating on her other traits might make you forget about the sin she has committed.
The virginity paradox I face as a British Muslim | gal-dem
Indeed, Allah is ever forgiving and merciful. Be her light and guide her: Salam, Answer from Counselor Karim Serageldin: Attraction is a very important factor to make a relationship succeed, but is not the only one. You did not like her from the beginning, but married her because of family pressure. Do you think you can handle the family pressure in case of divorce? I will first assume you prefer not to end your marriage and that you do not want to displease the families involved.
However, you are right about thinking of your own happiness, otherwise you will never make her happy, and both of you will be living a miserable life together.
Even though divorce is allowed, and it is one of your options, it must be a last resort. Whether you like it or not, you are now married and the decision should not have been made if you were not in agreement to this marriage in the first place.Muslim Man Marrying a Non-Muslim Women - Yusuf Estes
What exactly do you not like in your wife? If it is her weight, it can easily be solved with a lifestyle change, diet, and exercise.
You can approach your wife and suggest exercising together, for example.
MUSLIM men - would you care if your wife is not a virgin? - The Student Room
A healthy life style will also contribute to your mood and behavior. If there are other aspects of her physical appearance that cannot be changed through exercise, then there is nothing that can be done. Independent of her appearance, you should focus on her character, personality, skills or anything that makes her a good person and wife. You also have to remember that you are not perfect none of us areand there are probably things in you that she dislikes as well.
Start to validate the portion of your marriage life that you actually enjoy and appreciate.
Love does not need to be the same feeling or amount for each person in marriage at any given time. Our religion made it very clear the importance of marriage and what a man should look for in a wife: And those who hoard up gold and silver… 9: